Be Cool............and Listen!
If you search “listening” on the internet, you will find countless articles with great tips and ideas to listen better. No matter what you read, listening is a big challenge but it’s so important!
Why it’s tough to listen.
Many times we are distracted by what is happening around us that we disengage from the conversation. Perhaps other people are talking around us or walking by and interrupts our focus. Other distractions might be that we are thinking of things we need to do later in the day; grocery shopping, paying bills, homework, laundry and countless other duties. And yet, another distraction is within ourselves; we might be thinking of what we want to say next that we just don’t listen.
What does listening have to do with communication? Everything!
I used to believe I was listening intently to others on a regular basis because I could remember “bits and pieces” of a conversation. However, that WAS the problem! I realized I was “hearing” (sound of their voice) and not “listening” (understanding their message) and I was missing out on useful and valuable information. Not listening could be critical if your doctor is explaining medication or surgery details; or sad if a loved one is sharing a special story or event and you don't remember the details.
How can we improve?
If it is important for you to "get what is being said" from your spouse, co-worker, supervisor, family, friends, doctor - you get the picture - try the tips outlined below to start listening better.
1)Look straight at the person. Watch their facial expressions while listening to their words. You certainly don’t want to create an uncomfortable situation; however, look at them as much as possible to keep the personal connection intact (and your ears open!)
2)Clear your mind to listen. Strive to not think about errands or appointments you have scheduled or the ton of items on your “to do” list.
3)Ask questions. This is a powerful way to show you are interested (and that you understand) what is being said to you.
4)Stop what you are doing. If you are in the middle of an activity (reading a book, on your laptop, folding clothes, cooking dinner) – stop, focus and listen.
5)Wait until they finish a sentence. Don’t interrupt with what is on your mind; interject when the timing is appropriate (when it is your turn!).
John Marshall said it best: “To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as it is
to talk well.”
Be cool and “actively” listen; you might be surprised what you learn!
Why it’s tough to listen.
Many times we are distracted by what is happening around us that we disengage from the conversation. Perhaps other people are talking around us or walking by and interrupts our focus. Other distractions might be that we are thinking of things we need to do later in the day; grocery shopping, paying bills, homework, laundry and countless other duties. And yet, another distraction is within ourselves; we might be thinking of what we want to say next that we just don’t listen.
What does listening have to do with communication? Everything!
I used to believe I was listening intently to others on a regular basis because I could remember “bits and pieces” of a conversation. However, that WAS the problem! I realized I was “hearing” (sound of their voice) and not “listening” (understanding their message) and I was missing out on useful and valuable information. Not listening could be critical if your doctor is explaining medication or surgery details; or sad if a loved one is sharing a special story or event and you don't remember the details.
How can we improve?
If it is important for you to "get what is being said" from your spouse, co-worker, supervisor, family, friends, doctor - you get the picture - try the tips outlined below to start listening better.
1)Look straight at the person. Watch their facial expressions while listening to their words. You certainly don’t want to create an uncomfortable situation; however, look at them as much as possible to keep the personal connection intact (and your ears open!)
2)Clear your mind to listen. Strive to not think about errands or appointments you have scheduled or the ton of items on your “to do” list.
3)Ask questions. This is a powerful way to show you are interested (and that you understand) what is being said to you.
4)Stop what you are doing. If you are in the middle of an activity (reading a book, on your laptop, folding clothes, cooking dinner) – stop, focus and listen.
5)Wait until they finish a sentence. Don’t interrupt with what is on your mind; interject when the timing is appropriate (when it is your turn!).
John Marshall said it best: “To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as it is
to talk well.”
Be cool and “actively” listen; you might be surprised what you learn!
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